Episode 15: How to Design the Life you Really Want with Gina Maier Vincent

Is your life unfolding the way you really want it to? Or are you settling for what’s happened along the way? Can you identify what’s working for you or does your focus land on what’s not lighting you up and stop there?

If you’re feeling stuck in a rut, this episode is for you!

In this episode of the podcast, I talk to fellow women’s empowerment champion Gina Maier Vincent about what it takes to actively design a life you really enjoy and why many women feel unable to go after their dreams and desires.

You’ll learn how to view your time and energy as currency and how making more conscious day to day choices can radically change the game for you over time.

Episode highlights:

• Powerful questions to ask yourself if you’re not sure what you want
• The powerful influences other people’s opinions have on us and how to stop accommodating others at your own cost
• Being unapologetically ‘you’
• How to balance all areas of your life not just ‘work’ and ‘life’
• Why prioritising the things that matter to you is key to feeling fulfilled
• Unloading the heavy weight of ancestral unworthiness
• The impact pursuing your dreams has on the folks around you
• Viewing time and energy through the same lens you would money and spending all of these wisely
• Bringing day-to-day choices into conscious awareness to uplevel your life

Gina shared some seriously good pieces of practical advice in this episode that’ll help you get your life moving in the right direction. Enjoy!

Pre-order Gina’s book here.

Visit Gina’s website www.exquisitelyaligned.com

Connect with Gina on Instagram and LinkedIn.

Listen to my interview on Gina’s podcast here.

Are you fed-up of having your life ruled by stress? If what you need is more calm, better focus and improved productivity instead of constant frazzle and overwhelm, you'll love my brand new Stress Less PDF Guide.

Inside you'll find 21 practical, actionable stress reduction strategies to help you get your groove back. Buy the PDF guide here.

If you know you want more from your life or career but you're totally stuck about where to start, I invite you to book a complimentary strategy call with me here.

We'll uncover what's holding you back from the goals you want to achieve and you'll leave the call with actionable steps to get you moving in the right direction.

For the tea on me, how I work, who I coach and the packages I offer, please visit my website - www.emmaobriencoach.com

You can also connect with me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach where I share an abundance of tools, strategies and brilliant content, you might also see the occasional dog.

Check out two of my FREE online workshops:

My 7 Step Formula for Getting Unstuck

4 Ways to Stop Procrastination in its Tracks...

Transcript

1
00:00:02.560 --> 00:00:27.050
Emma O'Brien: Hi folks welcome to season 2 episode 15 of the lemons and pineapples. Podcast today, my guest is the fabulous Gina Mayer Vincent, and we're talking about how to design the life you really want. First, st a bit about my guest. Gina is a visionary thought, leader and master motivator. She's also an inspirational speaker, author, and empowerment entrepreneur.

2
00:00:27.300 --> 00:00:39.349
Emma O'Brien: Her specialty is coaching women who want more from their lives. Something I'm also incredibly passionate about. So I am very excited for us to be having this conversation welcome to the podcast gina.

3
00:00:39.730 --> 00:00:47.489
Gina Maier Vincent: Thank you, Emma. It's so exciting to be with you again, and I didn't get to tell you yet. But today your episode is live so.

4
00:00:47.490 --> 00:00:47.810
Emma O'Brien: Yes.

5
00:00:47.810 --> 00:00:50.547
Gina Maier Vincent: I will send you all those links shortly.

6
00:00:50.890 --> 00:01:02.009
Emma O'Brien: Fabulous. I'll pop those in this show notes. So, folks listening, if you want to go, listen to that podcast as well. Please, work away. We have. We have big conversations, Gina, don't we? So.

7
00:01:02.010 --> 00:01:14.260
Gina Maier Vincent: And there's so much fun. And it's it's really a blessing to be able to connect with you across around the world. And I appreciate it.

8
00:01:14.430 --> 00:01:30.155
Emma O'Brien: Yeah, no magic that I I'd say, I I have loved. It's 1 of the things I've loved about having this podcast is just who it's enabled me to connect with. We'd never otherwise really have crossed paths. I don't think so. Magic of the Internet.

9
00:01:30.700 --> 00:02:00.089
Emma O'Brien: I'm going to kick us off by asking you what is, I think, a really big question, and that's, I think a lot of women could tell both of us if we ask them what's not working in your life, and what don't you want? I think many people could give us a big, long list of that. But when it comes to what you do want. I think a lot of women get very unstuck with that, because I don't think people give it much thought. Don't give it enough thought so

10
00:02:00.410 --> 00:02:07.729
Emma O'Brien: from your perspective as somebody who's super passionate like me about helping women really go for more and not settle.

11
00:02:07.740 --> 00:02:11.530
Emma O'Brien: How do you get clear on what it is you want.

12
00:02:11.870 --> 00:02:41.209
Gina Maier Vincent: Yeah, it is a big, big deal. And I think what happens is, we live in a world that's constantly begging us to conform to fit in to be safe to stay with our tribe. And when I say tribe I mean, you know, I'm a mother of 2, and I know you're a mom as well. We want to keep our kids safe right? So we think, oh, they should be more like us. We'll play it safe. And I don't mean exactly like that. But there becomes this point where

13
00:02:41.430 --> 00:02:48.770
Gina Maier Vincent: for so long we're listening to outside voices, whether it be when we start in the classroom.

14
00:02:49.000 --> 00:03:03.509
Gina Maier Vincent: Then we have our peers. When we become a teenager, right? We want the approval of our peers. We look for accomplishments, and all these different things as we get married, start a career, or whatever order, or whatever you choose.

15
00:03:03.510 --> 00:03:19.139
Gina Maier Vincent: and these outside voices, and they also include social media. I am too old to have grown up with the device in my hand. But my kids certainly are of that age. We didn't choose to give them devices when they were younger, but.

16
00:03:19.140 --> 00:03:19.760
Emma O'Brien: Hmm.

17
00:03:19.760 --> 00:03:26.519
Gina Maier Vincent: They did grow up with social media. And I think you turn you also add in media, it shows us.

18
00:03:26.720 --> 00:03:32.390
Gina Maier Vincent: or asks us to be something that we may not. And I think we have to stop

19
00:03:32.420 --> 00:03:35.291
Gina Maier Vincent: and think about the people who may have

20
00:03:36.150 --> 00:03:41.700
Gina Maier Vincent: let's say, walk through a room. And you're like, Wow! They really

21
00:03:41.960 --> 00:03:57.739
Gina Maier Vincent: know who they are. They really shine brightly like I look at you and your beautiful red blouse, and your and your lips and all. And you you glow, Emma, and I think that was the 1st thing that attracted me when we met the 1st time on zoom.

22
00:03:57.750 --> 00:04:04.163
Gina Maier Vincent: and I think that I'm sure when you walk into a room, if only I could be there!

23
00:04:05.785 --> 00:04:34.289
Gina Maier Vincent: A different continent! But if only I could be there, I'm sure people turn their head and think, wow! How does she do that? And there are very few and far between people who are able to let's say unapologetically or UN abashedly walk through a room with that confidence. But they've done the work, and the work is to ask themselves those questions, and the questions is, are, in my opinion, what did I give up?

24
00:04:34.900 --> 00:04:37.240
Gina Maier Vincent: You know? What did I give up

25
00:04:37.400 --> 00:04:39.130
Gina Maier Vincent: in order to be a

26
00:04:39.550 --> 00:04:42.869
Gina Maier Vincent: better employee? Wife? Mother.

27
00:04:43.391 --> 00:04:49.899
Gina Maier Vincent: You know it would all the different tasks. Daughter daughter of an aging parent who needs my help.

28
00:04:50.786 --> 00:04:52.400
Gina Maier Vincent: Sister to

29
00:04:52.570 --> 00:05:04.009
Gina Maier Vincent: XYZ. You know, sister to a brother who needs help because he's ill at the moment, and I think if you can go back, I've had some clients. Tell me horseback riding.

30
00:05:04.440 --> 00:05:09.650
Gina Maier Vincent: and the minute she told me horseback riding I could her voice changed.

31
00:05:10.180 --> 00:05:22.570
Gina Maier Vincent: and it was like, well, tell me more. Oh, I grew up with horses. My dad had this many acres, la la! And I. Then she went on to tell me when I was living in ha, ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Hawaii!

32
00:05:22.760 --> 00:05:41.030
Gina Maier Vincent: I was able to work on a ranch. La la! After a divorce. It was so therapeutic, and I was like, you need to get back to horses, and she just let me know that through me, pushing her a bit, you know, or stretching, or both, she in her networking meetings.

33
00:05:41.040 --> 00:06:06.500
Gina Maier Vincent: I said to her, please, instead of just focusing on business put out things that if somebody says, What do you like to do? I'll I love horses, and I miss being with them. I left California for my new state. I don't have enough property here, you know, but I wish I could connect immediately. 3 different people told her about horse people, and she just finished. I don't know if you could say Pet sitting but

34
00:06:06.500 --> 00:06:17.679
Gina Maier Vincent: watching somebody's horse in their home at their barn, you know, on their property, and loved it. And so I think if we can ask, did we give up reading books? I mean

35
00:06:17.930 --> 00:06:36.210
Gina Maier Vincent: it. It could be anything. And when you start adding the things that you used to be passionate about, that you gave up. It could even be playing with play dough, I mean Clay, any like getting your hands dirty, messy with paint, maybe finger paint. I don't know. I think the other question is.

36
00:06:36.580 --> 00:06:40.949
Gina Maier Vincent: what are my more dreams like? What is that expansive look?

37
00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:48.060
Gina Maier Vincent: Things that you never got to experience yet that are on your maybe bucket list

38
00:06:48.650 --> 00:07:17.930
Gina Maier Vincent: with things. Maybe you hear Emma's episode. And you think, oh, I never did that. I'd like to try it, you know. I know your passion for photography, and I think that we have this camera with us all day long. And it's this magical camera that you can actually see your images immediately, right? And edit forth. And maybe it's taking a photography class. But I think once we start

39
00:07:18.350 --> 00:07:23.570
Gina Maier Vincent: kind of quieting the social noise and and asking ourselves those

40
00:07:23.620 --> 00:07:27.159
Gina Maier Vincent: questions. The other thing I want to mention here because

41
00:07:27.340 --> 00:07:34.069
Gina Maier Vincent: you didn't say it. But many people believe that it's work and life balance.

42
00:07:34.310 --> 00:07:37.089
Gina Maier Vincent: I do think the balance part is correct.

43
00:07:37.090 --> 00:07:37.960
Emma O'Brien: And.

44
00:07:37.960 --> 00:08:02.239
Gina Maier Vincent: But I don't think it's 2 words. I think there's our relationships. It could be a love relationship, marriage or a partnership could be family relationships, friendships, I mean, hobbies. Learning and education. I know there are a lot plenty of people that just are like sponges. I have a client she loves to learn. So travel is a big part of

45
00:08:02.240 --> 00:08:08.369
Gina Maier Vincent: her life, or needed to be, and she had an ex-husband who

46
00:08:08.930 --> 00:08:11.680
Gina Maier Vincent: who didn't feel as comfortable.

47
00:08:11.910 --> 00:08:21.420
Gina Maier Vincent: putting all 3 kids on an airplane and using their passport to see the world. But now she's taking all 3 kids and showing them the world.

48
00:08:22.050 --> 00:08:24.780
Gina Maier Vincent: I'm not saying you have to divorce your husband. Not at all.

49
00:08:24.780 --> 00:08:27.230
Emma O'Brien: No, no, that's not what we're saying, folks again.

50
00:08:27.230 --> 00:08:33.490
Gina Maier Vincent: If you want to, in which case please go ahead right. It's it wasn't when I was.

51
00:08:34.490 --> 00:08:36.809
Gina Maier Vincent: you know. The other thing is.

52
00:08:36.909 --> 00:08:47.099
Gina Maier Vincent: I think sometimes we give up exercise or movement I don't like it to sound like a chore, but that is, that should be a part of our.

53
00:08:47.180 --> 00:09:04.250
Gina Maier Vincent: you know, not this work life, but this balance. And for me, of course, there's spirituality, spirituality. Maybe some call it faith or religion, and then, of course, something that you and I both share is a love for animals. So whatever that might be, it could be

54
00:09:04.350 --> 00:09:06.620
Gina Maier Vincent: the environment, the planet

55
00:09:08.270 --> 00:09:12.170
Gina Maier Vincent: And I think when we get back in touch with those things.

56
00:09:12.810 --> 00:09:14.900
Gina Maier Vincent: Those aren't the answers.

57
00:09:14.960 --> 00:09:19.029
Gina Maier Vincent: but those start to allow those layers of other

58
00:09:19.560 --> 00:09:27.979
Gina Maier Vincent: stuff things that don't belong to come off, and for us to start. Really. Ha! Being passionate about everything.

59
00:09:28.410 --> 00:09:33.509
Emma O'Brien: Yeah, yeah, I think it's 2 such powerful questions. And I think

60
00:09:33.910 --> 00:09:37.149
Emma O'Brien: I like how you phrased that I I would also

61
00:09:37.170 --> 00:09:41.950
Emma O'Brien: go so far to say, what has, what is the cost

62
00:09:42.070 --> 00:09:42.740
Emma O'Brien: to you?

63
00:09:42.740 --> 00:09:43.470
Gina Maier Vincent: Yes.

64
00:09:43.470 --> 00:09:53.009
Emma O'Brien: Of what you of not having what you want, what's the cost? And I think often it's an emotional cost. It's a spiritual cost. It's a cost on a soul level.

65
00:09:53.010 --> 00:09:53.570
Gina Maier Vincent: Yes.

66
00:09:53.570 --> 00:10:00.760
Emma O'Brien: I think you know, when you are slightly off track with life, that it just doesn't. Something doesn't feel right.

67
00:10:00.760 --> 00:10:01.560
Gina Maier Vincent: Yes.

68
00:10:01.560 --> 00:10:05.740
Emma O'Brien: And you know, or something might feel very, not right. And I think

69
00:10:06.110 --> 00:10:10.639
Emma O'Brien: there's something in here about valuing yourself enough

70
00:10:10.780 --> 00:10:30.499
Emma O'Brien: to ask yourself the question, what did I give up and make the time to go and refind that, and go and do it, and make the time, even if you've got a crazy, busy schedule. One of the things I did you'll enjoy this is last year we went swimming with humpback whales in Mozambique.

71
00:10:31.010 --> 00:10:31.580
Gina Maier Vincent: Oh, my!

72
00:10:32.430 --> 00:10:33.280
Emma O'Brien: 12.

73
00:10:33.280 --> 00:10:36.549
Gina Maier Vincent: Are they? They're gentle, I guess.

74
00:10:36.960 --> 00:10:48.359
Emma O'Brien: Well, so you're not allowed to. Obviously, you're not allowed to touch them or interact with them. I wasn't lucky enough to have one. Try and swim up to me and touch me. I was in the water going. Please try and touch me. Please try and touch me.

75
00:10:48.360 --> 00:10:49.050
Gina Maier Vincent: And.

76
00:10:49.050 --> 00:10:56.160
Emma O'Brien: No, none of them did. But that was for me, you know. That was quite a big thing to make happen.

77
00:10:56.210 --> 00:11:10.290
Emma O'Brien: but it was something that was on my bucket list, and I think the one thing I got from Covid, and we talked about it on your episode. So if if anybody wants to know more about kind of my wake up calls I've had. They must listen to our episode that we did on your podcast.

78
00:11:10.300 --> 00:11:11.839
Emma O'Brien: Is that

79
00:11:11.900 --> 00:11:38.720
Emma O'Brien: the time to do things that you feel called to do is now I think lots of us pre Covid just put stuff off. I know I did. I'll get to that side at some point. I'll get to that at some point. And actually, what you have to do is prioritize getting to the things that matter to you, because that's what I think. Real happiness in life is is those experiences and stepping up for yourself and doing those things things for yourself.

80
00:11:38.840 --> 00:11:42.599
Emma O'Brien: so I'd love to know from your point of view.

81
00:11:42.720 --> 00:11:51.560
Emma O'Brien: why you think it is that women often don't do these things. I I'm going to say, I sometimes feel

82
00:11:52.020 --> 00:12:01.229
Emma O'Brien: like people might perceive me to be quite self centered, because I just kind of go. Well, I'm going to go and do that. And I'm just gonna go for it. Because actually, I don't care to be quite honest.

83
00:12:01.270 --> 00:12:04.869
Emma O'Brien: I think there's a lot of women lack the ability to do that.

84
00:12:04.870 --> 00:12:05.300
Gina Maier Vincent: What's.

85
00:12:05.300 --> 00:12:08.039
Emma O'Brien: And I'm curious, from your point of view.

86
00:12:08.160 --> 00:12:12.869
Emma O'Brien: kind of the psychology behind that. And and how one shifts that a bit.

87
00:12:13.130 --> 00:12:35.860
Gina Maier Vincent: Yeah, I I agree with you completely. Everything you just said. And I find it in men, women, and even some children. My daughter's adopted, and it was hard to watch her struggle with what I consider a centuries old. Pandemic. You just mentioned Covid of feeling unworthy.

88
00:12:35.950 --> 00:12:50.876
Gina Maier Vincent: and if you go back because this kept coming up with clients of mine of all ages. I don't usually work with children. I the child I was talking about again is my adopted daughter and

89
00:12:52.190 --> 00:13:20.700
Gina Maier Vincent: it. It was just so fascinating to me that I started researching this, and just like doing as much as I could. And I don't mean from a psychology standpoint. I just mean basic research. And what I find is it goes back centuries. It's not something new that started in the sixties, or, you know, even when my grandmother was born in 1,900, it goes back centuries. And it it's like this heavy

90
00:13:21.450 --> 00:13:23.839
Gina Maier Vincent: weight that we carried

91
00:13:24.650 --> 00:13:30.190
Gina Maier Vincent: within our mind or behind us. We don't quite know what it is.

92
00:13:30.310 --> 00:13:33.670
Gina Maier Vincent: in my opinion, until somebody

93
00:13:33.700 --> 00:13:35.690
Gina Maier Vincent: like pokes the bear. If you will.

94
00:13:35.690 --> 00:13:36.390
Emma O'Brien: Okay.

95
00:13:36.390 --> 00:13:39.629
Gina Maier Vincent: And you brought it up

96
00:13:39.670 --> 00:13:40.930
Gina Maier Vincent: perfectly.

97
00:13:41.110 --> 00:13:43.310
Gina Maier Vincent: I say, people are a fear

98
00:13:43.990 --> 00:13:45.470
Gina Maier Vincent: being judged.

99
00:13:45.960 --> 00:14:05.339
Gina Maier Vincent: and you mentioned, you know. You just go ahead and do it. I'm gonna do this and you do it. And I I'm I'm guessing your husband just adores that in you. I know my husband. He's like, well, why are you even asking me? I know you're gonna do it. Well, I kind of just wanted to make sure that this is a

100
00:14:05.340 --> 00:14:17.839
Gina Maier Vincent: great idea that I'm having, you know. Of course he's like, I have no idea, because I'm not a businessman like you're the business. So this is your business, and you know, cause sometimes these

101
00:14:19.520 --> 00:14:32.349
Gina Maier Vincent: ideas that you and I, I think, have are big and bold, right? And then we realize that others can judge us. And I think many people suffer with that. And I I think, a client

102
00:14:32.610 --> 00:14:39.460
Gina Maier Vincent: who I'll never forget. We were sitting in the yard working one on one. She loves nature as much as I,

103
00:14:39.500 --> 00:14:46.199
Gina Maier Vincent: and I asked her that poking question. The question was on a scale of one to 10,

104
00:14:46.610 --> 00:14:50.240
Gina Maier Vincent: how worthy do you feel with 10 being, you know.

105
00:14:50.500 --> 00:14:51.749
Gina Maier Vincent: top of the

106
00:14:51.890 --> 00:14:52.960
Gina Maier Vincent: the thing.

107
00:14:53.290 --> 00:14:58.040
Gina Maier Vincent: and I kind of had a feeling of where where she was going to answer, and she said 4,

108
00:14:58.180 --> 00:14:59.530
Gina Maier Vincent: and I just

109
00:15:00.010 --> 00:15:06.450
Gina Maier Vincent: sat there silently. You know she was actually in tears when

110
00:15:06.530 --> 00:15:08.660
Gina Maier Vincent: she came to the.

111
00:15:08.690 --> 00:15:12.589
Gina Maier Vincent: you know, like nobody's ever asked me that. I guess I'm a 4,

112
00:15:12.730 --> 00:15:20.039
Gina Maier Vincent: and I was super sad, and holding back the tears that I could feel of hers because I knew it was true for her.

113
00:15:20.150 --> 00:15:32.500
Gina Maier Vincent: I could just see by her body language, I could tell, because we were getting into these questions of what she desires now that she was, had new found freedom of of being divorced.

114
00:15:32.550 --> 00:15:36.190
Gina Maier Vincent: And I said to her, what do you need

115
00:15:36.930 --> 00:15:37.950
Gina Maier Vincent: to get

116
00:15:38.320 --> 00:15:48.370
Gina Maier Vincent: closer to the 10? You know I know that's not going to happen overnight, and she sat there thinking about it, and she came up very quickly and said, permission.

117
00:15:50.750 --> 00:15:55.000
Gina Maier Vincent: And I was like, Okay, well, right now I am giving you permission.

118
00:15:55.880 --> 00:16:07.099
Gina Maier Vincent: but a homework is giving yourself permission. And so how do you do that for me? The answer was for her to think about

119
00:16:08.920 --> 00:16:11.089
Gina Maier Vincent: compliments people were giving her.

120
00:16:11.180 --> 00:16:21.060
Gina Maier Vincent: So I asked her about that, and she said, I don't really enjoy receiving compliments. And I was like, Okay, why, you know why. Why, like me right now.

121
00:16:21.060 --> 00:16:21.400
Emma O'Brien: Man.

122
00:16:21.775 --> 00:16:43.929
Gina Maier Vincent: I love these kind of sessions, because I think they remove so many blocks, and we get to the like, the the underlying. What's the cause of this? And so she could very quickly let me back it up. She could very quickly figure out where that unworthiness came from. It was a maternal figure in her life.

123
00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:47.840
Gina Maier Vincent: an older maternal figure, who

124
00:16:48.150 --> 00:17:10.700
Gina Maier Vincent: she herself was extremely generous, but yet didn't see herself worthy, and I think lots of women fall into that category. But I told you it does happen with men and children. I've seen it 1st hand, but I think that we've seen that doting grandmother who does, gives and gives and gives till she's exhausted, and

125
00:17:10.710 --> 00:17:13.769
Gina Maier Vincent: you know so forth. And I think that

126
00:17:13.839 --> 00:17:18.659
Gina Maier Vincent: for me, I asked her. Okay, let's start thinking about your patients that

127
00:17:19.069 --> 00:17:28.339
Gina Maier Vincent: give you compliments. Your friends, people of the influence people, you know they're telling you the truth, people you trust you, you

128
00:17:28.380 --> 00:17:32.749
Gina Maier Vincent: value. And so I asked to keep in her journal

129
00:17:33.120 --> 00:17:36.939
Gina Maier Vincent: start documenting, and she was getting so many compliments

130
00:17:37.130 --> 00:17:41.400
Gina Maier Vincent: which I figured because I knew what type of person she was, and what kind of.

131
00:17:41.400 --> 00:17:42.280
Emma O'Brien: Doctors.

132
00:17:43.200 --> 00:17:49.269
Gina Maier Vincent: And she was getting all these compliments. And she's I said to her, Okay, now, let's look at the theme.

133
00:17:49.320 --> 00:17:57.180
Gina Maier Vincent: And almost everybody said the same exact things like, if you were to just highlight keywords.

134
00:17:57.220 --> 00:18:06.840
Gina Maier Vincent: And I said, Do you think they would lie to you? No, okay, do you? Or you start believing them, and the trend went from. I really don't enjoy receiving compliments to.

135
00:18:06.910 --> 00:18:28.349
Gina Maier Vincent: I'm grateful for them, and her number from 4 went up to 10, and I'd say now she's probably an 11, which is what I strive for right. We should be off the charts on some things. We should just be just too right, and in the end she needed to give herself that permission which she finally did as she started.

136
00:18:28.350 --> 00:18:40.489
Gina Maier Vincent: What I asked was to see herself in through the eyes of others, and that's why the compliments were so important, so that she then could see herself through her own eyes. And

137
00:18:41.110 --> 00:18:41.810
Gina Maier Vincent: it's

138
00:18:42.530 --> 00:18:49.650
Gina Maier Vincent: I think it's something you and I discussed some on on that same episode that we were talking about earlier, and

139
00:18:49.710 --> 00:18:55.909
Gina Maier Vincent: I'd love for people to listen to that, because I loved hearing your take on like settling.

140
00:18:55.930 --> 00:18:57.959
Gina Maier Vincent: and I think that

141
00:18:58.000 --> 00:19:00.079
Gina Maier Vincent: block is what keeps us.

142
00:19:00.470 --> 00:19:04.509
Gina Maier Vincent: or allows us to settle more quickly and easily.

143
00:19:04.510 --> 00:19:05.120
Emma O'Brien: Yeah.

144
00:19:05.900 --> 00:19:08.150
Emma O'Brien: yeah, a hundred percent. And I think

145
00:19:08.210 --> 00:19:20.550
Emma O'Brien: I see a lot of women settling. And I think it seems to be a trend that often they'll get to mid life and and wake up one day. Look around and say, Is this is this it?

146
00:19:20.760 --> 00:19:23.080
Emma O'Brien: Yeah, this it for the rest of my life.

147
00:19:23.410 --> 00:19:25.469
Emma O'Brien: and it doesn't have to be.

148
00:19:25.720 --> 00:19:33.480
Emma O'Brien: I think it's then when you start to ask the questions like you said, What did I give up? What did I used to do that really

149
00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:53.270
Emma O'Brien: lit my hair on fire in a good way. And and how can I add more of that back in what feels good to me. And what am I doing in my life that doesn't feel good. What am I saying? Yes, to that? I actually just don't want to be doing, and I think there's a there's a mindset shift there in

150
00:19:53.740 --> 00:20:13.159
Emma O'Brien: looking at your time and saying, I have this finite amount of time in this human existence. I mean, none of us know actually how much time we've got. So it's why waste it. And to start to have a look at what? What fulfills me, and you know I'm I'm being. I'm a realist here, you know. We can't all be skipping around having a fabulous time all day every day. But I think

151
00:20:13.290 --> 00:20:20.989
Emma O'Brien: really 18 to 90% of the time you are awake should be time that you feel content.

152
00:20:21.170 --> 00:20:21.510
Gina Maier Vincent: Yeah.

153
00:20:21.510 --> 00:20:30.869
Emma O'Brien: It shouldn't be a slog through it. But yet I think that's where a lot of women get to. And it's things like you've shared here. This unworthiness piece is enormous.

154
00:20:30.900 --> 00:20:32.810
Emma O'Brien: It's enormous.

155
00:20:33.190 --> 00:20:45.539
Emma O'Brien: and I think a lot of women don't go for more because they don't believe they deserve more, or that they're more they're capable of of more. I mean, my my mom is the perfect example. She

156
00:20:45.820 --> 00:20:51.379
Emma O'Brien: wanted to be a vet and was told by someone at school. Oh, you'll never do that.

157
00:20:52.050 --> 00:20:56.400
Emma O'Brien: And so she's never really kind of stretched herself.

158
00:20:56.540 --> 00:21:04.199
Emma O'Brien: Much career wise, and she's very, you know. She's she's incredibly capable, and she could have done it. But I think it's

159
00:21:04.330 --> 00:21:08.339
Emma O'Brien: it's starting to recognise. What do I want? And

160
00:21:08.560 --> 00:21:18.409
Emma O'Brien: it's the internal work. And I think this is often work that you do with a coach. This is where for me, I think the power of coaching really does come in when you're sitting somewhere at a 4,

161
00:21:18.530 --> 00:21:43.670
Emma O'Brien: you know you'd like to be doing something, but it requires you to be a 10 on the worthiness scale. How do you go from 4 to 10. How do you do that inner journey of transformation to get you to a space where you feel that you can step up for what you what you really want. And I hope folks listening to this, if because everybody listening to this, I think, will have something in the a dream that's in the back of a drawer somewhere. Please get it out.

162
00:21:43.950 --> 00:21:51.880
Emma O'Brien: please dust it off and have a look at it, and just see, could I make a move towards this. Could I bring this in somewhere

163
00:21:52.110 --> 00:21:55.139
Emma O'Brien: so so important, so important.

164
00:21:56.520 --> 00:22:07.800
Gina Maier Vincent: Well, I think it. I mean, I know we agree on this, so I'll just say it. But I'll add to something. I think when we do that, when we allow ourselves to do that.

165
00:22:08.120 --> 00:22:09.320
Gina Maier Vincent: we

166
00:22:10.890 --> 00:22:35.949
Gina Maier Vincent: encourage others to do the same, and then it just causes this like ongoing ripple effect, not just for children, but neighbors and friends, and you know, spouse and and family members, and I think the happier we are, and the more we're fulfilling our dreams like, I said, I can imagine you walking to into a room, and people like.

167
00:22:36.500 --> 00:22:57.489
Gina Maier Vincent: you know, and and if they can do that too, then think about how many others they can inspire every time they walk into a grocery store or anything, a hair salon, a restaurant, a networking meeting, their child's school, whatever it might be. Yeah, it's powerful.

168
00:22:57.490 --> 00:23:12.889
Emma O'Brien: Yeah, I think there's a there's a a saying I can't. I can't credit to it to anybody, because, like I. But it is when you start to shine your your light brightly, you give other people permission to do the same, and I think often

169
00:23:13.460 --> 00:23:28.560
Emma O'Brien: when people are not stepping up because they're afraid of being judged. Actually, for the most part, people will have a look and give you a very large round of applause, and then say, hang on a minute if you can do it, I can do it, and I think that I think that's where the power is.

170
00:23:28.650 --> 00:23:41.039
Emma O'Brien: Gina. You have a. I know we could. We could keep talking about this for quite some time. You have a book coming out soon, and I know 3 of the themes in your book are time, money, and energy.

171
00:23:41.040 --> 00:23:41.740
Gina Maier Vincent: Yes.

172
00:23:41.740 --> 00:23:51.420
Emma O'Brien: Can you share a little bit about how how those relate to what we're talking about to this piece of women really going for for what they want. I'd love to hear a little bit more about that.

173
00:23:51.420 --> 00:24:10.170
Gina Maier Vincent: Absolutely so, and thank you for mentioning the book. Time, money, and energy. I call them our divine resources. And you mentioned already that our time is an infinite currency, right? And I think oftentimes many of us. I see it in all ages.

174
00:24:10.580 --> 00:24:12.169
Gina Maier Vincent: We think about

175
00:24:12.350 --> 00:24:23.980
Gina Maier Vincent: how we spend our money, but we don't really think twice about how we spend our time. And it goes back to that authority paradigm where, if you're listening to the media or social media, or to

176
00:24:24.060 --> 00:24:34.539
Gina Maier Vincent: like your mom hearing from somebody at school. You're not going to do that. Then we don't know how to spend our time, money and energy, and of course, money is our power

177
00:24:35.248 --> 00:24:55.399
Gina Maier Vincent: currency and energy is an invisible currency, which sometimes for me is even hard to explain. But I think we know what it feels like to feel tired, exhausted. Versus elated, energetic, like like our hair on fire. You said before, I love that

178
00:24:57.010 --> 00:25:03.820
Gina Maier Vincent: up. So it is like it's on. And it was red at 1 point, not naturally red. But you get the picture, yeah. And I

179
00:25:04.260 --> 00:25:09.899
Gina Maier Vincent: that when you I love. When you said, Take that dream out of the drawer.

180
00:25:10.200 --> 00:25:12.370
Gina Maier Vincent: That's a beautiful image.

181
00:25:12.510 --> 00:25:21.219
Gina Maier Vincent: And when you do, ask yourself those questions and take that dream out. We have to then make choices all day long.

182
00:25:21.320 --> 00:25:40.130
Gina Maier Vincent: and we have that ability to align our decisions with that choice. So certainly, if we look outside the window or open our phone. We know there's advertising and social media and people begging for us to spend our money on a quick fix.

183
00:25:40.130 --> 00:25:53.350
Gina Maier Vincent: whether that be a coffee shop, etc, and that if you buy this purse handbag you're going to feel like a million bucks, maybe you will. But maybe after 30 min it'll

184
00:25:53.650 --> 00:26:04.579
Gina Maier Vincent: subside or 30 days, I don't know. And the the ideas or the concept is that when you really start valuing those 3 divine resources, time, money, and energy.

185
00:26:04.620 --> 00:26:20.979
Gina Maier Vincent: and just asking yourself those questions. Does this purchase? Does this exchange, if you will, because I believe it's an exchange of energy, money, and so forth. Does it align with my what I like to say? My more

186
00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:47.700
Gina Maier Vincent: is it? Bring me one step closer to? If your dream is to be that that to be a vet or my legacy my calling, whatever that is, some clients of mine there more is to be with that amazing partner, that amazing man, because I have a lot of women which I think you do as well. And so, hey, am I? If I run myself ragged by

187
00:26:48.360 --> 00:26:59.580
Gina Maier Vincent: giving my energy to 10 people and volunteering for things I'm not really interested in. Will I look my best when I bump into that dream, Guy? No, probably not.

188
00:26:59.640 --> 00:27:03.690
Gina Maier Vincent: So why not cut back? And I think a lot of people have

189
00:27:04.480 --> 00:27:22.529
Gina Maier Vincent: not have or feel guilty, maybe saying no to things, and they think they need to give an explanation. I asked a client the other day, I said, Is this your religious background that you feel like you have to give an explanation when you say no. And she said.

190
00:27:22.590 --> 00:27:45.530
Gina Maier Vincent: yes, I said, Okay, well, I'm telling you right now. You don't have to give anybody a reason. It just doesn't align, and that's the end of it. If you even have to. If you want to say something, it doesn't align with my goals. I don't, you know. It doesn't fit into my plans right now, whatever that might be. But I think if we can see those 3

191
00:27:45.670 --> 00:28:07.089
Gina Maier Vincent: 3 things time, money, and energy, even though I just said energy is invisible, but see and feel them as choices where we get to vote all day long and listen. I like a good hot cup of tea. I'm usually brew mine at home, but if I'm cold I will stop at a Starbucks and grab myself a cup of tea

192
00:28:07.840 --> 00:28:10.030
Gina Maier Vincent: if I'm cold and I'm out

193
00:28:10.640 --> 00:28:18.969
Gina Maier Vincent: but I don't value buying coffee or tea out as much as I value airline tickets.

194
00:28:19.340 --> 00:28:22.249
Gina Maier Vincent: Yeah, you know. And I think if we can just start

195
00:28:24.240 --> 00:28:40.800
Gina Maier Vincent: those little shifts, it's not a big. I can never buy a cup of tea at Starbucks again. But it's those little choices that end up giving us the bank account we need, or giving us the time that we need to invest in whatever that might be.

196
00:28:41.550 --> 00:29:01.850
Emma O'Brien: I love what you've just said. And I I think it's it's how do the everyday choices you are making align with your big goals, and if they don't align with your big goals, it's time to stop and and make a different decision. And I love the analogy you've made that. And I think this is what people forget

197
00:29:02.040 --> 00:29:09.620
Emma O'Brien: is, if you have one or 2 takeaway coffees a day over the course of a week, and over the course of a month.

198
00:29:09.830 --> 00:29:39.249
Emma O'Brien: and over the course of the year. It probably is an airline ticket, and like you say, if your goal is to go traveling and you're trying to save up for that cut the Starbucks. But sorry sorry, Starbucks, but from Starbucks is listening. But but cut it out, and and I think I love this. It's about being conscious of the decisions you make and not going through life in a kind of sleep walking mentality where you allow life to just happen.

199
00:29:39.250 --> 00:29:39.670
Gina Maier Vincent: It's about.

200
00:29:39.670 --> 00:30:02.210
Emma O'Brien: Consciously taking charge of what is happening in your life. How are you spending your time? How are you spending your money, and who are you giving your energy to so so powerful? I mean, that's a i mean, that's how it's a huge takeaway for me. There. If just how you've worded that because I think often we don't realize that we actually have the power to be able to

201
00:30:02.370 --> 00:30:05.099
Emma O'Brien: steer the the ship of life if you like.

202
00:30:05.100 --> 00:30:05.680
Gina Maier Vincent: Yeah.

203
00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:07.979
Emma O'Brien: They're actually at the helm. You're not a passenger.

204
00:30:11.180 --> 00:30:34.300
Gina Maier Vincent: And i i i agree, and I'll leave you with one tip. I like to when I speak, and it's in the book as well, I like to encourage people to place a hundred a really crisp $100 bill into their wallet, and if a hundred is too much, then put a 20, a 50 whatever I mean. Actually, I don't even know what you what your currency is.

205
00:30:34.300 --> 00:30:37.220
Emma O'Brien: It's like monopoly money, so don't. But but.

206
00:30:37.220 --> 00:30:38.110
Gina Maier Vincent: The principle.

207
00:30:38.110 --> 00:30:39.330
Emma O'Brien: Is there? Yeah.

208
00:30:39.330 --> 00:30:43.030
Gina Maier Vincent: Whatever is an a nice size bill and

209
00:30:43.090 --> 00:30:55.599
Gina Maier Vincent: cream clean, crisp, brand new, if possible. The bank is usually very helpful. I like to raffle them off when I when I speak, but not them a hundred one and

210
00:30:56.920 --> 00:30:59.560
Gina Maier Vincent: I don't want to sound like.

211
00:30:59.560 --> 00:31:00.829
Emma O'Brien: Everyone's going to go. Look.

212
00:31:00.830 --> 00:31:01.480
Gina Maier Vincent: To you.

213
00:31:01.480 --> 00:31:04.369
Emma O'Brien: Because you're raffling $100 bills on.

214
00:31:04.370 --> 00:31:08.520
Gina Maier Vincent: Will be signing up to stop giving up their Starbucks so they can get an airway.

215
00:31:08.560 --> 00:31:09.730
Emma O'Brien: Hear me! Speak.

216
00:31:09.730 --> 00:31:10.530
Gina Maier Vincent: Right.

217
00:31:10.710 --> 00:31:11.359
Emma O'Brien: And I.

218
00:31:11.786 --> 00:31:16.480
Gina Maier Vincent: But anyway, maybe that's maybe that's futures. Talk hope hopefully.

219
00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:17.470
Emma O'Brien: Absolutely.

220
00:31:17.933 --> 00:31:21.176
Gina Maier Vincent: I'll I'll put that out there. But

221
00:31:21.750 --> 00:31:35.949
Gina Maier Vincent: Then, when you open your wallet, you have that reminder that yeah, this is my choice, and then you also have a visual, because I'm a visual person, and I know lots of my client or who I attract are usually visual people, too.

222
00:31:35.950 --> 00:31:37.090
Emma O'Brien: That.

223
00:31:37.090 --> 00:32:01.756
Gina Maier Vincent: A reminder that you do have money. You do have that ability to choose whether it's time, money, or energy. And the other thing is when you're at your desk or on your phone, and you're gone and click that, add to cart button. Just ask yourself the question, is this instant gratification or lifelong bliss. If you're someone like myself. And I think, Emma, you're the same. You're here to build a legacy to touch so many lives the way, you're already doing.

224
00:32:02.060 --> 00:32:16.729
Gina Maier Vincent: then it's like, and is this helping me build that legacy and leave behind this beautiful message with this, podcast with the hand, the the people you're able to. I was, gonna say, touch in a way not with

225
00:32:17.760 --> 00:32:24.850
Gina Maier Vincent: touch their heart and and change their mindset, or maybe not change it, but improve shift.

226
00:32:25.630 --> 00:32:34.670
Gina Maier Vincent: And I think it, whatever it takes, I mean again, I'm a visual person. So that visual of a crisp bill is really really helpful.

227
00:32:35.040 --> 00:32:54.899
Emma O'Brien: Yeah, I think just so powerful. And I think it is. It's a reminder like you said, it's a reminder that you've got some money with you. So far, I think a a big thing for a lot of people is is money blocks and financial stuff. It's a it's it that's can be a big source of self development work for people and and like you, said, a reminder that you always have a choice.

228
00:32:54.940 --> 00:33:07.659
Emma O'Brien: And if you don't want to spend it. Then you don't have to spend it brilliant. And I I think what I take from our conversation. Lots of things, I take from it. But this is this real bringing your

229
00:33:07.660 --> 00:33:32.840
Emma O'Brien: day to day behaviors into conscious awareness, and then, knowing that you have a choice to do something different, and being mindful of how you're spending your time, your money, and your energy. Gina magical, I love it. I am going to share the link to pre order your book. So if anyone's listening, and thinks Gina's as fabulous as I do, you can pre order her book. I'm going to pop the link in the show notes. You can go there and

230
00:33:33.240 --> 00:33:42.689
Emma O'Brien: get a copy of that Gina. How can people connect with you if they want to get in touch with you via a website or socials? Where can they find you?

231
00:33:42.880 --> 00:33:55.940
Gina Maier Vincent: So, Instagram, it's at exquisitely aligned Linkedin and Facebook. It's at Gina Meyer, Vincent, and then my website is exquisitely aligned. I think they'll they'll find all the links there. Thank you so much.

232
00:33:55.940 --> 00:34:02.640
Emma O'Brien: I'll pop. I'll pop them in the show notes as well, so people can come and connect with you. Thank you. This has been a magical conversation.

233
00:34:03.520 --> 00:34:04.540
Emma O'Brien: I've loved having you.

234
00:34:04.540 --> 00:34:15.600
Gina Maier Vincent: Yeah, I I very much appreciate it. I I love your energy, your enthusiasm and passion, and your brilliance. And it's been so much fun, Emma. Thank you.

235
00:34:16.130 --> 00:34:32.909
Emma O'Brien: Thanks, Gina, thanks folks for joining us. I really hope you've enjoyed this conversation. I'm gonna pop, the link to mine and Gina's podcast conversation on Gina's podcast in the show notes as well. So you can go and listen to that. And I will see you all again same time next week bye, for now.