Episode 3: 7 Mindset Reframes to Manage Feelings of Uncertainty

Overcoming Uncertainty & Finding Calm Amidst Chaos

In this episode I share practical strategies to navigate overwhelming uncertainty, manage stress and find ways to stay grounded when the world around you feels chaotic (it's certainly chaotic right now!).

I discuss my take on why we tend to fixate on worst-case scenarios and how some subtle mindset shifts can help you regain control over your thoughts and emotions. With insights on re-framing fear, grounding practices and building resilience, this episode offers actionable advice for anyone feeling weighed down by the unknown.

Episode highlights:

• Understanding the need for control in uncertain times
• Why humans crave predictability and how to find peace when it's lacking
• Facing your fears of worst-case scenarios
• Shifting your mindset from "what's the worst that can happen?" to "what's the best possible outcome?'
• Thought monitoring and developing self-awareness to reduce worry
• Grounding techniques to bring you back into the present moment
• Reflecting on the past to build resilience in the face of uncertainty
• Creating stability through small daily action steps

Takeaways:

• Embrace Uncertainty as Part of Life: Recognizing that unpredictability is inevitable can relieve some pressure and help us adapt with more ease.
• Practice Thought Awareness: Pay attention to negative thought patterns and gently shift them toward more constructive perspectives.
• Ground Yourself in the Present: Using breathing exercises and grounding practices, you can calm your mind and body, making it easier to think clearly.
• Remember Your Resilience: Reflecting on past challenges can remind you of your inner strength and ability to overcome.

Head to my Instagram page @emmaobriencoach for a Heart Focused Breathing demo and a Compassion Meditation demo.

I'm gifting 5 coaching sessions to folks who are stuck and overwhelmed by uncertainty in life right now, you can apply for one of these sessions here.

Are you fed-up of having your life ruled by stress? If what you need is more calm, better focus and improved productivity instead of constant frazzle and overwhelm, you'll love my brand new Stress Less PDF Guide.

Inside you'll find 21 practical, actionable stress reduction strategies to help you get your groove back. Buy the PDF guide here.

If you know you want more from your life or career but you're totally stuck about where to start, I invite you to book a complimentary strategy call with me here.

We'll uncover what's holding you back from the goals you want to achieve and you'll leave the call with actionable steps to get you moving in the right direction.

For the tea on me, how I work, who I coach and the packages I offer, please visit my website - www.emmaobriencoach.com

You can also connect with me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach where I share an abundance of tools, strategies and brilliant content, you might also see the occasional dog.

Check out two of my FREE online workshops:

My 7 Step Formula for Getting Unstuck

4 Ways to Stop Procrastination in its Tracks...

Transcript

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Emma O'Brien: Hi, folks. Welcome to season. 3. Episode, 3 of the lemons and pineapples. Podcast today, I'm going to be sharing with you 7 reframes to help you manage uncertainty. This is being recorded on the 7th of November, so of course, we are a day or so after the Us. Elections and

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Emma O'Brien: the Orange man is back in charge, and I think it's elicited an awful lot of uncertainty for folks in the Us. And uncertainty for folks globally.

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Emma O'Brien: It's sparking a lot of conversations. There's a lot of stuff on social media. I am seeing some very divisive

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Emma O'Brien: posts happening. I am seeing a lot of things that are a little bit unsettling

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Emma O'Brien: for me that I'm seeing from people who I'm friends with, and I'm quickly unfriending.

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Emma O'Brien: and I think this state of uncertainty, as there is a big change happening, and nobody really knows what's going to unfold is trump going to

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Emma O'Brien: come, heard? Come through? Is not the word. But is he going to follow through on some of the quite controversial

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Emma O'Brien: promises he's made?

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Emma O'Brien: Or is it all lies just to secure votes? Because let's face it. You can't ever trust a politician. To tell you the truth.

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Emma O'Brien: I don't want to get into the politics of this. What I want to do is share some reframes with you to help you manage uncertainty that you might be experiencing at the moment around this. Or if there's uncertainty you're experiencing in your life, I think this has been a very challenging year for many people

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Emma O'Brien: challenging for people with small businesses.

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Emma O'Brien: I've spoken to a lot of people who have found 2024 really difficult. I found myself saying to someone the other day, do you know what we all thought? 2020 was hard.

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Emma O'Brien: In fact, it was a walk in the park compared to this. So let's talk about how to to manage that feeling of uncertainty, because it can be like I've said it's it can be overwhelming. It can be very distracting. It can take up a lot of mental headspace, and when we're stuck in a negative state it's difficult to move forwards. It's difficult to take action on goals, and the more of a negative state you're stuck in, the more you tend to stay there.

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Emma O'Brien: So uncertainty feels very overwhelming. We are creatures that crave predictability and we crave control. I especially crave control.

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Emma O'Brien: I will put my hands up and say, I'm a complete control freak. I struggle when I don't know what's going to happen. And unfortunately, the nature of this existence is, we don't really ever know what's going to happen.

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Emma O'Brien: So the one way you can start to counter the uncertainty, and being overwhelmed by uncertainty, is to

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Emma O'Brien: start to backtrack and really work one day at a time.

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Emma O'Brien: The thing with being overwhelmed by uncertainty is, we tend to jump 25 steps ahead, and if you're a catastrophiser you will totally relate, and we tend to go to the absolute worst case scenario that we can imagine and sit there and think. What the hell am I going to do.

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Emma O'Brien: and and you tend to loop with that.

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Emma O'Brien: It might be a controversial thing to say here, but I don't think there is too much of an issue of sitting, and very logically asking yourself in this scenario.

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Emma O'Brien: what is the worst thing that can possibly happen? And if it did, what would I do?

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Emma O'Brien: And to perhaps write your thoughts down on paper, sometimes just getting it out of your head and down on paper, and being able to look at it and go. Wow! I really have taken a huge leap from the current reality to my imagined

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Emma O'Brien: catastrophic reality. And that is a really big stretch. And I can back that up a little bit. It might be that the thought of the worst possible thing that can happen

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Emma O'Brien: gives you a sense of control, because you can say, Okay, if that were to happen, here is what I'm going to do, and I'm going to have some mitigating things in place to to help me plan and control for that.

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Emma O'Brien: I'm going to give the example I am. I'm British. I live in South Africa.

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Emma O'Brien: The political stability here is interesting.

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Emma O'Brien: There is always the fear that South Africa will go the same way as Zimbabwe.

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Emma O'Brien: There's always that fear.

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Emma O'Brien: and

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Emma O'Brien: I can do nothing about that, so I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it or worrying about it. It's pointless, because I would be worrying about it all the time. However.

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Emma O'Brien: I always make sure there are funds available that should we have to pack up and leave tomorrow, we can get the dogs. We can pack the stuff up. We can all get on a plane, and we can leave.

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Emma O'Brien: So I have that plan in place for the literal worst case scenario.

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Emma O'Brien: It's a, you know, plans plan, Z.

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Emma O'Brien: It will hopefully, never, ever happen. But if it does.

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Emma O'Brien: I can deal with it. So that's what I mean by flat. I'm not suggesting you sit in the catastrophe, but sometimes just knowing that if the worst were to happen, you have things in place to cope with. It takes that overwhelming uncertainty away.

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Emma O'Brien: And of course it's going one day at a time.

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Emma O'Brien: So if if today you're okay.

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Emma O'Brien: that's good, just try and keep yourself in the present moment as far as possible, and not be jumping 25 steps ahead into the absolute catastrophe and sitting there and going. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What if this? Because the unfortunate thing as well with this is, you can catastrophize all you want, but you won't be able to come up with all of the possible worst case scenarios. So

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Emma O'Brien: if you need to go through the process of processing, the feelings of uncertainty in that way do it. But don't stay there.

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Emma O'Brien: Uncertainty, fuels, anxiety

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Emma O'Brien: and anxiety tends to fuel worry.

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Emma O'Brien: and again worry plays into what I've just talked about with catastrophizing.

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Emma O'Brien: But the thing with worry is it will just keep you sitting in that worried thought pattern. And when we're in worry or anxiety or stress, that's where we stay. It's very difficult to actually take action and do anything.

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Emma O'Brien: It's very difficult to break that pattern. So the thing to do here is start to practice a bit of self-awareness. And notice when you find yourself worrying. So a great thing to do is to just to be monitoring your thought patterns and to notice and to say to yourself, huh! I notice I'm sitting in a pattern of worry.

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Emma O'Brien: The next step with this is to ask yourself

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Emma O'Brien: what would be a better pattern of thinking to put myself into here. What would be a better state for me to be in what would allow me to be more productive. What would allow me to move out of this

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Emma O'Brien: sort of trapped state?

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Emma O'Brien: What is a better way of being so? Interrupt the worry, and then ask yourself what would be a better way of being? How would I prefer to feel and see if you can move yourself into that state?

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Emma O'Brien: There's a powerful heart math technique called freeze frame, which teaches you to do this by essentially asking yourself that question, and then very consciously shifting yourself into a better way of being

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Emma O'Brien: positive emotions allow you to reconnect to your intuition. They allow you to get your parasympathetic nervous system into a state of calm, and when you are not in a fight or flight or freeze

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Emma O'Brien: state, you are able to think more clearly, and when you have access to more clear thinking, you're able to choose another way of being, and I think when we are in the

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Emma O'Brien: clearer logical state of being, sometimes you can go. I'm worrying about something over which a. I have no control. B. Will probably never happen and see, the worrying isn't moving me anywhere, so let me do something else.

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Emma O'Brien: Reframing uncertainty as an opportunity we tend to, as human creatures be very frightened of change.

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Emma O'Brien: Change elicits a lot of uncertainty because we don't know what's going to happen. We like to be able to predict and control

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Emma O'Brien: just because there is uncertainty and there is change. It doesn't mean it's all bad.

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Emma O'Brien: It doesn't mean it's going to be bad. So if you can get into the reframe of yes, it's uncertain.

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Emma O'Brien: But something good might come out of this, and rather than asking the question, what's the worst thing that can possibly happen here?

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Emma O'Brien: Reframe that into what's the best thing that could possibly happen here

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Emma O'Brien: and see what comes up for you if you're able to shift yourself out of the worst case scenario, worry, state, and into

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Emma O'Brien: what possible good could come from this change? So whether we apply that to

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Emma O'Brien: trump being in charge, or whatever state of uncertainty you happen to be in in your life.

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Emma O'Brien: With this change, what is the best thing that could happen here.

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Emma O'Brien: The 4th thing I want to share with you is to get yourself into the present moment, when you are feeling very uncertain, and you're feeling a bit trapped by those feelings of uncertainty.

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Emma O'Brien: They will, I liken these negative feelings, especially things like worry and anxiety and uncertainty, is also another one of them. It's like you get onto the uncertainty train, and if you allow the doors to close behind you, and you're on it as it leaves the station and picks up speed. It's very difficult to get off, so if you can choose not to get onto the uncertainty train. In the 1st place

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Emma O'Brien: you can

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Emma O'Brien: you can avoid being sucked into those destructive patterns of thinking.

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Emma O'Brien: So in order to stay grounded and get into the present moment.

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Emma O'Brien: you can practice some deep breathing. So the simple act of slowing your breathing down will calm your mind.

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Emma O'Brien: So there's a technique in heart, meth called heart focus breathing. If you go through to my Instagram page and have a little scroll down, you'll find I've done a demo of that on there, and essentially that asks you to slow your breathing down. Imagine you're breathing in and out of your heart space, and to put your focus there and to put your focus on your breath.

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Emma O'Brien: slowing your breathing down calms, calms your nervous system.

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Emma O'Brien: When you calm your nervous system, you have access to a better way of thinking.

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Emma O'Brien: and when you have access to a better way of thinking, you can make better decisions, like to not go down the path of a complete uncertainty, thought Loop.

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Emma O'Brien: and I also shared on Instagram this week a compassion practice. It's also known as a Meta meditation. If you go and have a look there, I walk you through it. But essentially, it's also a way of bringing you into the present moment and generating compassion for yourself in the moment of feeling uncertain and being able to accompany yourself

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Emma O'Brien: when you are feeling very out of sorts, and you've got a lot of emotions coming up, and also to be able to generate compassion for other people in a situation where uncertainty is involved.

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Emma O'Brien: easier said than done. But when we can remember that everybody is trying their best to fulfill their needs, whether they're doing that in a way that we agree with or not.

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Emma O'Brien: That is what everybody is walking through the world doing. And when we can extend some compassion even to people who, we may not think deserve it.

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Emma O'Brien: It softens.

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Emma O'Brien: our hearts are little.

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Emma O'Brien: and it feels better, and when we feel better. We're able to show up better and do better. And I think in light of things that have been going on. What we need is more compassion for each other. Everybody's very angry at the moment, and all that does is fuels more anger. So you can check that out on my Instagram page as well.

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Emma O'Brien: Can you build a

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Emma O'Brien: tolerance and a resilience

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Emma O'Brien: for uncertainty? A great question to ask, if you are really stuck and struggling in a space of feeling very uncertain. And you've got those

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Emma O'Brien: anxious worry thoughts, looping is to stop and ask yourself, am I okay? Right now, in this moment is everything okay?

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Emma O'Brien: And that just brings you into the present moment again, and it will give you a little reality check.

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Emma O'Brien: The chances are everything is okay for you right now

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Emma O'Brien: and then you can get yourself back into that more short term, moment by moment, day by day, living and just allowing things to unfold rather than

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Emma O'Brien: trying to, you know, worry about something that's 3 months ahead of time, which over which you have no control. Anyway.

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Emma O'Brien: the other thing is also to remind yourself of your own resilience to uncertainty is to have a think back on all of the occasions where you have experienced uncertainty in your life.

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Emma O'Brien: and you have come through it.

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Emma O'Brien: So I think, for everybody listening there will be have been some sort of

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Emma O'Brien: big uncertainty happening in life. I kind of the the one that comes to mind for me is getting divorced.

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Emma O'Brien: It was horrible. I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't think I would get through it. It felt awful. I didn't know what was coming, but you know what I survived it.

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Emma O'Brien: and there will be things for you that you have also been through big life changes that you've been through. And you have been okay. And if you can just remind yourself that you've been through big stuff before you've been okay, you can navigate big stuff again. And you will be okay.

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Emma O'Brien: We forget actually how resilient we are. So have a take a moment to reflect back on what you have come through and what you have been through and what you have lived through, and that you're okay. Right now.

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Emma O'Brien: can you find some small certainties in your everyday.

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Emma O'Brien: So that might be, what are you kind of? Sure of as much, you know. It's not again as much as we can ever be sure of anything but small certainties. So things like I like to wake up in the morning and listen to the birds, and I can hear the birds, and I know the the birds are up. We're all good. The day is, the day is starting.

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Emma O'Brien: Can you connect with somebody

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Emma O'Brien: with whom talking feels good each day.

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Emma O'Brien: Can you take some action each day which moves you forwards? I think I touched on it earlier on talking is

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Emma O'Brien: we like control. And we like predictability. And it's 1 of the reasons why it's so hard to move out of a comfort zone, because we don't know what's going to happen. So, even though you might be stuck in a situation that's actually really revolting. The

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Emma O'Brien: prospect of moving out of it is difficult, because we don't know what the unknown is going to look like, so we tend to stick with revolting because we know it.

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Emma O'Brien: But if you can start to

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Emma O'Brien: think about where you'd like to be instead, or how you'd like to feel instead, or how you'd like your world to be instead. And what small action can you take each day to move you towards that, to give yourself some certainty. You know that if I take this small step today, it's going to move me closer to where I want to be. So

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Emma O'Brien: the certainty you can give yourself is the certainty that you can take action.

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Emma O'Brien: The only thing you have control over anything any of us has control over is ourselves and what we do and how we feel. So think about that each day. What can I do today

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Emma O'Brien: to move me to where I want to go. What can I do today? That will will help me feel the way I want to feel

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Emma O'Brien: and just tiny things. Just make them small. But if you keep yourself in action.

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Emma O'Brien: it keeps you moving.

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Emma O'Brien: and the last thing is to use uncertainty to clarify your values and your goals. Often when we feel very triggered by big changes, and when uncertainty comes up.

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Emma O'Brien: it's an indicator that something is happening that it's not okay for us.

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Emma O'Brien: And I think that links us into our sense of purpose, which is what I talked about in the previous episode of how to reconnect with your purpose.

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Emma O'Brien: So what would be the antidote to you

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Emma O'Brien: for your own sense of uncertainty?

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Emma O'Brien: So it might be that

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Emma O'Brien: what's happening with

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Emma O'Brien: if we come back to trump. I don't want to say I don't want to get too political about it, but if we come back to he has

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Emma O'Brien: made some threats to towards women's reproductive rights. For instance.

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Emma O'Brien: if that bothers you.

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Emma O'Brien: who can you connect with to build community around that to support other women, I suspect what's going to come out of this is pockets of very powerful communities who are going to be really rising up with this. I think there's going to be some very powerful

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Emma O'Brien: things coming out of this uncertainty. That's my my thoughts on it.

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Emma O'Brien: Who can you find who share the same values as you that you can connect up with, and maybe you can collectively do some good to instigate some positive change.

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Emma O'Brien: So

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Emma O'Brien: what values have been violated of yours by what's happened with this? Or you know, if we come to any situation that feels uncertain for you.

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Emma O'Brien: what do you want instead? And how can you go about making that

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Emma O'Brien: happen.

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Emma O'Brien: I know it's hard to sit when you don't know what's going to happen, and I think the last thing I will add in here is sometimes a sense of uncertainty can lead us to appreciating what we have, appreciating the people we have in our lives, and leads us to reaching out and connecting more with the people who matter to us

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Emma O'Brien: and connecting in with your support network and allowing people to help you and being there to help other people as well as we're going through navigating something. You know what, we navigated a global pandemic. And we can navigate this global change as well. So

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Emma O'Brien: it will be okay. I think it's just

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Emma O'Brien: it feels very

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Emma O'Brien: frightening at the moment, because we don't know what's going to happen. But, like I've said, there are lots of things you can do to soothe your own feelings with the uncertainty, and to connect up with other people and get support

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Emma O'Brien: on that note.

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Emma O'Brien: I would like to gift 5

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Emma O'Brien: coaching sessions to

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Emma O'Brien: a handful of folks. So it's 5 5 single sessions I'm giving away

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Emma O'Brien: to folks who need some support right now. So if this is you, if you're going through something and you feel very stuck, if you are really struggling with

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Emma O'Brien: not knowing

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Emma O'Brien: where to go, how to set a goal, where to go from here, how to move, and you would like some coaching support. I will invite you to apply for one of these complimentary sessions. The link is in the show notes. There is a form for you to fill out to apply.

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Emma O'Brien: and I will come back to you and let you know if you have got one of those sessions and we can work together just to get you

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Emma O'Brien: out of a rut and get you moving again into the

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Emma O'Brien: right direction for you. So if you need that support, please apply, and I will look forward to connecting with you as always thank you for being here with me today. I will see you same time next week, bye, for now.