Episode 7: The Harmonious Holiday Guide: How to Stay Sane Over the Festive Season

If you're counting down the days to the Christmas holidays with a mixture of excited anticipation at the prospect of time off and dread at the prospect of sharing space with family and the chaos that'll likely ensue, this episode is for you.

I share some strategies that'll help you get some rest, stay sane amidst family politics and objectively reflect on the year that was 2024.

Episode highlights:

• Making time for rest even when you're surrounded by other people
• How to effectively (and kindly) set boundaries with family when it all gets a bit much
• The value and importance of doing one thing each day that fills your cup
• Journal prompts to help you reflect on what worked and what didn't over the past year

For more stress reduction tools and strategies, I invite you to check out my Stress Less PDF guide here.

Are you fed-up of having your life ruled by overwhelm and stress? If what you need is more calm, better focus and improved productivity instead of constant frazzle, you'll love my brand new Stress Less PDF Guide.

Inside you'll find 21 practical, actionable stress reduction strategies to help you get your groove back. Buy the PDF guide here.

If you know you want more from your life or career but you're totally stuck about where to start, I invite you to book a complimentary strategy call with me here.

We'll uncover what's holding you back from the goals you want to achieve and you'll leave the call with actionable steps to get you moving in the right direction.

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You can also connect with me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach where I share an abundance of tools, strategies and brilliant content, you might also see the occasional dog.

Transcript

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Emma O'Brien: Hi folks, a very warm welcome to season. 3. Episode, 7 of the lemons and pineapples podcast with me, Emma o'brien. In this episode I'm going to be sharing with you the harmonious holiday guide. I'm going to be sharing some tips and tools and strategies for you to be able to stay sane in the holidays.

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Emma O'Brien: especially if you are spending time with family.

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Emma O'Brien: and really how to make the most of the downtime that I hope is coming your way over the Christmas season. So the 1st thing to share with you is that it's really important when you have got some downtime to

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Emma O'Brien: make time to rest and to make use of that time. This is often a really busy time of year for many of us. Maybe you're visiting family. Maybe you've got family coming to you, maybe, I think, especially for folks in the Northern hemisphere. Maybe you're working quite close up to Christmas, and there's going to be a lot of frenetic activity happening before you can actually settle in for Christmas. But it's really important to prioritize some rest time for yourself.

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Emma O'Brien: So whether that looks like sleeping in for a few days. Whether that looks like

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Emma O'Brien: taking some time to go out for a walk each day, whatever that looks like some time to really rest and recuperate. Many of us live in lives that are really busy. There is always stuff happening. We are discouraged, as a general rule, from making time to rest. I encourage you to. I think it's really important. If you want to get the best out of yourself, and you want to get the best out of life. You need to not be skidding in sideways to everything, so make some time to

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Emma O'Brien: rest, and, like I said, that might mean having a lion. It might mean having a nap in the afternoon, but it might also mean active rest, which can be things like gardening.

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Emma O'Brien: painting, listening to audiobooks something that keeps your chattery bit of your brain busy.

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Emma O'Brien: So it's not running and overthinking, but allows you to be quite present. And in the moment that's really valuable for resting as well.

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Emma O'Brien: The second one and this is perhaps the most important thing with Christmas holidays coming up is to make sure you set boundaries with the family you are spending time with

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Emma O'Brien: now. Often it's quite easy or easier

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Emma O'Brien: to be able to put a boundary down with our own families

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Emma O'Brien: because we're familiar with them. We we know what their push points are with their buttons, and it's sometimes a little bit easier to communicate with your own family

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Emma O'Brien: about what you need than it is with other people's.

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Emma O'Brien: This is where in-laws come in as I referred to mine. You know.

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Emma O'Brien: of course, tongue in cheek, as the outlaws is when you have in-laws, when you have somebody else's family to deal with, it can often be a little bit more challenging to voice your needs because you might have slightly different family cultures.

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Emma O'Brien: You might have a different way of doing things. And this is where

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Emma O'Brien: Christmas holidays can become quite stressful.

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Emma O'Brien: It's an interesting observation that I have found with my husband's family. He comes from a quite a big family.

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Emma O'Brien: and they love to spend loads of time together.

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Emma O'Brien: I'm British. So 1st clue.

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Emma O'Brien: And secondly, aside from being British, is, I come from a family culture where it's okay to be independent, and to be able to spend a bit of time on your own without having to explain yourself. So, for instance, if I go to my Dad's house.

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Emma O'Brien: There are 2 televisions in 2 different rooms, and chances are there could be 2 people sitting in different rooms watching television. It's completely okay. That's completely acceptable. I go to my mom's house, and I have a stepfather who likes to watch the news every night. Now I don't watch any news. I refuse to watch it. So I will leave the room, and I'll go and sit and read a book while he's watching the news until it's finished.

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Emma O'Brien: It's also completely. Okay. I don't need to explain myself.

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Emma O'Brien: A husband's family, on the other hand, like to spend most of their time that they're together all together.

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Emma O'Brien: and it's a lot for me I find it really difficult to cope with, because I come from a culture where we don't do that, and I don't come from a big family. So there comes an opportunity to, rather than kind of walking off and not explaining it, which, for a collection of people who are used to being together can be quite difficult to understand.

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Emma O'Brien: It's an opportunity to say, folks, I'm quite overwhelmed by everybody here. I'm going to go for a walk on my own. I'll be back in an hour.

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Emma O'Brien: Well, I'm going to go and have a lie down. I just need a little bit of quiet time when you gently explain to people why you're doing something like that nobody minds, and if they do, that's their problem, not yours. But I think for the most part people don't mind, but we often find it difficult to articulate how we're feeling and what we need with other people's families. So it's an invitation to have a look at. What boundaries can you? Gently and kindly and considerately, because we family

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Emma O'Brien: diplomacy always has to come into play. But what can you do kindly and gently to make sure you're guarding your own time and making sure your own needs are seen to?

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Emma O'Brien: I think it's really important

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Emma O'Brien: to acknowledge. If you are in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, and you're allowing yourself to feel uncomfortable in order to make other people not feel uncomfortable, I think there comes a point where you actually have to evaluate that. That's not okay. And if other people feel uncomfortable for a little while, then so be it.

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Emma O'Brien: The 3rd thing is to do something every day, whilst you have your holidays that really soothes and feeds your soul.

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Emma O'Brien: and that might tie into your rest, activity, or it might be something completely different. This year has been very interesting for me. I'm going to share a little bit more about that. But for me it's really important to be able to spend some time outside each day.

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Emma O'Brien: and if you've got a lot of family around that can be a little bit difficult to make sure you're ticking that box, but do something each day that makes you feel good and make that a priority.

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Emma O'Brien: This has been a year of self understanding and self exploration and deep self-care for me, and I've realized just how important it is when I look after myself. I'm a much better person. I show up as a much better human. So it isn't just about being selfish. It's about not that self-care is selfish, but it isn't just about your own self-interest. It's about, how do I improve my interactions with other people when I prioritize what makes me feel good? So

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Emma O'Brien: think about and make sure you're doing something each day that feels good for you. So if you are Southern hemisphere like me, going and sitting in the garden is entirely doable because it's really warm. If you're in the northern hemisphere, maybe not so much in the garden might be a little chilly, probably a bit dark, depending on what time it is, but

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Emma O'Brien: find something that feels good. So even if nature is something that is really soothing for you, like it is for me.

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Emma O'Brien: even if it's cold outside. Maybe you wrap up and go for a walk, or maybe you find a quiet nook somewhere where you can quietly have a coffee and just watch the birds out of the window. Something but start to think about. What can I do each day that feels good and fills my cup.

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Emma O'Brien: and this will be so vital for you if you are surrounded by family for the holidays, and you really do need to recharge and keep yourself in a in a good space, because, you know, it is challenging, having a lot of people in one space.

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Emma O'Brien: And the last thing is to reflect on your year.

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Emma O'Brien: and this might be something you do when family have gone, when you have got a bit of time to yourself. But I think it's really important to prioritize this, and I would invite you to get a journal out or sit with a friend. However, you best process through stuff for yourself.

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Emma O'Brien: and reflect on 2 questions.

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Emma O'Brien: When did I feel really good this year?

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Emma O'Brien: And what was I doing in order to feel really good?

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Emma O'Brien: And by that I mean

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Emma O'Brien: again. Whatever feel good is for you, and if you don't know, it's time to explore that. But

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Emma O'Brien: when did I feel calm and content and accepting of myself, and at ease and at peace, and like life was flowing. When did I feel that? And what was I doing

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Emma O'Brien: prior to that? Or whilst I was feeling that

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Emma O'Brien: these things are really important to make sure we're we're nourishing ourselves, and we're feeling good. When we feel good

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Emma O'Brien: we show up better. We enjoy life more, we live life better. This is what my work is all about with the people and the clients I'm here to serve. It's being able to get into a space of feeling good more often.

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Emma O'Brien: So there's the 1st question, when this year did I feel good?

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Emma O'Brien: And what was I doing? And then you can take that a step further and think, how can I do more of that next year?

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Emma O'Brien: And the inverse of this, which I think is really important to have an understanding of as well is.

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Emma O'Brien: what did I do this year that did not feel good, that did not feel aligned?

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Emma O'Brien: And what was that? What led to that? What was? What was the cause of that? And what do I need to change? So I don't take that

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Emma O'Brien: into 2025.

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Emma O'Brien: So it might be. There was a lot of stress for you at work, perhaps, and it's time to have a look at. How can I address that stress, and how can I do things differently? So I'm not constantly stressed all year next year. What needs to change? It might be that there's certain people, when you reflect on this question that

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Emma O'Brien: you you spend time with, and you don't feel good.

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Emma O'Brien: What do you need to do to move that. How do you move away from the people that stop you from feeling good, or you don't feel good when you're around them? And what can you do to find more alternate people where you do in a space that you do feel good. So journal on those 2 questions and see what comes up. It's really good to reflect on what worked and what didn't work, and how can I do less of what didn't work more of what did work?

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Emma O'Brien: So I hope this has been helpful, and I wish you a wonderful holiday season. There is one more episode coming up before Christmas next week, which is a really exciting episode. So I'm excited to share that with you.

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Emma O'Brien: But in the interim I leave you with these thoughts, and you can have a look at

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Emma O'Brien: how you can make time to rest.

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Emma O'Brien: how you can set boundaries with family.

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Emma O'Brien: This might mean having a conversation with your partner about what that might look like depending on whose respective parents are coming. If you've got parents coming and whose family is coming, it's important to talk about these things ahead of time. Open communication is so important.

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Emma O'Brien: So there's 1 thing to do.

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Emma O'Brien: Do something each day that soothes your soul and reflect on your year.

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Emma O'Brien: If you'd like a little bit of extra oomph and a bit of extra support and help with de-stressing before the holidays, or working through the stress of the holidays. I invite you to check out my stress. Less ebook. The link is in the show notes to be able to access that it's got 21 strategies to help you reduce stress in your life, and it's probably going to be really useful for you if you're anticipating a slightly stressful Christmas period.

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Emma O'Brien: So I'll leave you with that. Thank you for being with me. Thank you for joining me, and I will see you in the next episode, bye, for now.