S4-Episode 3: Why Mindset Alone Isn't Enough

You've done the journaling, the affirmations, the mindset shifts...so why are you still feeling stuck?

In this episode, I'm joined by functional medicine health coach Sam Shrosbree to unpack why mindset work on its own isn't enough and what's missing when progress just won't stick. Together, we explore the essential connection between mind and body, and how bringing in somatic practices can unlock real, lasting change.

This is a must-listen if you've been doing 'all the right things' but still feel overwhelmed, unfocused, or emotionally reactive. The missing puzzle piece might not be in your head - it might be in your body.

What you'll learn:

• Why mindset tools like affirmations and journaling can only take you so far
• How your body holds unprocessed emotions and how that impacts your mental state
• Simple somatic practices to regulate your nervous system
• How to use your breath as a powerful mind-body reset
• The impact of food, caffeine and supplements on your emotional state
• What 'self-mastery' really looks like in practice

"We fear the big feelings less when we know we have the tools to handle them."

Ready to go deeper?

The Re-Calibration 6 week group programme is now open for enrolment! It's a programme designed to help you reconnect to your body, regulate your emotions and build a practical toolkit for resilience, clarity and joy in all areas of your life.

Find out more and sign up here.

Got a question?

DM Emma on Instagram @emmaobriencoach

DM Sam on Instagram @zenroom_at_thewoods

Procrastinators, this will change the way you show up for yourself and help you make serious progress in just 7 days.

STOP putting your progress on the back burner

LEARN how to set effective boundaries

MAKE more progress in a week than you have in the last month

Get instant access to STOP Procrastinating in 7 Days here.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

If you know you want more from your life or career but you're totally stuck about where to start, I invite you to book a complimentary strategy call with me here.

We'll uncover what's holding you back from the goals you want to achieve and you'll leave the call with actionable steps to get you moving in the right direction.

For the tea on me, how I work, who I coach and the packages I offer, please visit my website - www.emmaobriencoach.com

You can also connect with me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach where I share an abundance of tools, strategies and brilliant content, you might also see the occasional dog.

Transcript

1
00:00:02.610 --> 00:00:27.309
Emma O'Brien: Hi, folks. Welcome to season. 4. Episode 3 of the lemons and pineapples podcast with me, Emma o'brien and my guest, Sam Shrosbury. Today, we're going to be talking about. Why, mindset work isn't enough, and what you actually need to add to mindset work in order to really achieve big shifts in your kind of whole mind, body

2
00:00:27.980 --> 00:00:28.910
Emma O'Brien: work.

3
00:00:29.410 --> 00:00:37.369
Emma O'Brien: So you might have done journaling affirmations quite a bit of inner work. But if you're still feeling stuck.

4
00:00:37.480 --> 00:00:53.989
Emma O'Brien: it isn't because you're doing it wrong. It's because mindset on its own isn't quite enough. We also need to be listening to our earthly vehicles and doing a bit of somatic work as well, and bringing the 2 together to really help to facilitate big

5
00:00:54.130 --> 00:01:03.710
Emma O'Brien: shifts in lifestyle shifts in how your external circumstances start to be shaped, and

6
00:01:04.180 --> 00:01:13.280
Emma O'Brien: I do a lot of mindset work. So it's a big part of what I do. But it's quite interesting that often I will end up, referring some of my clients to Sam

7
00:01:13.700 --> 00:01:35.459
Emma O'Brien: when we've also got physiological stuff that needs to be dealt with, and that the physiological stuff is starting to play into the inability to move forwards, because our minds and bodies are quite linked, and we have all managed to forget that. So, Sam, will you talk to us a little bit about

8
00:01:35.790 --> 00:01:49.250
Emma O'Brien: where, from your perspective, we've got to be bringing in somatic work, body work to really get the mindset work that a lot of us are busy doing and then going. Why is nothing working? What's the

9
00:01:49.690 --> 00:01:51.729
Emma O'Brien: what's the missing puzzle piece in there?

10
00:01:52.610 --> 00:02:07.289
Sam Shrosbree: I think I think the 1st thing to acknowledge is that the mind and body are 2 sides of the same coin, so you can't be doing one thing without the other thing.

11
00:02:07.540 --> 00:02:35.570
Sam Shrosbree: It's mainly the 1st thing to recognize. And I think there's often the school of people that will go more on the mindset approach. And there's the school of people that will go more on the physical body approach, but that you constantly need to be tying those 2 things together is maybe the 1st thing to recognize. And I think when people start going down these journeys of realizing that

12
00:02:35.570 --> 00:02:37.810
Sam Shrosbree: something is a bitch

13
00:02:37.870 --> 00:02:44.040
Sam Shrosbree: off mentally or emotionally, or there's work to be done there. Then they kind of start

14
00:02:44.370 --> 00:02:51.829
Sam Shrosbree: aiming their direction all in in that sphere, and, as you said, you can do all the affirmations. You can

15
00:02:51.830 --> 00:03:16.199
Sam Shrosbree: do all the journaling. But if you're not actually putting that those thoughts and feelings into some kind of action again, we've said this in the previous podcast. Emotions or energy in motion, those things need to be shifted, and the only way to move something is to physically move it. So that's where it also comes down to the physical body. And, like you say, the earthly vehicle that is.

16
00:03:16.340 --> 00:03:21.948
Sam Shrosbree: that is, feeling all these feelings and and thinking all these these thoughts.

17
00:03:22.600 --> 00:03:47.190
Sam Shrosbree: a great quote that I heard is, it's like reading a book about dieting, but never actually changing what you're eating, you can have all the knowledge, and know that this is what you should eat. And this is what's better for you. And this is what's not great for you, but just continuing to eat what you eat. It's putting the work and the thoughts and the feelings and the new knowledge into some kind of some kind of action.

18
00:03:47.530 --> 00:03:48.590
Sam Shrosbree: I think

19
00:03:48.690 --> 00:04:07.100
Sam Shrosbree: the 2 2 big characters in this kind of mind, body, the body speaks the mind, all of that which I think a lot of people that would listen to this have heard of Gabel mate and besel Thunder Kork that speak. They both psychiatrists in background, and they. The ultimate

20
00:04:07.100 --> 00:04:30.830
Sam Shrosbree: kind of way to start integrating these things is listening to the body and moving the body. I mean, yeah. The fact that they I think it's based off on a cork's book is called The Body speaks the mind, so you can understand what's going on more in your mind by listening to your body, and you can shift what's going on in your mind by shifting things in your body, and just keep having this dance between

21
00:04:30.830 --> 00:04:32.359
Sam Shrosbree: between the 2 of them.

22
00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:41.649
Emma O'Brien: Yeah, 100%. And I think it's just so interesting when you start to bring the 2 kind of sides of the same coin together and and do the work. One thing

23
00:04:41.980 --> 00:05:03.770
Emma O'Brien: that's come up for me, I think, personally and with some clients is I'll have people who are struggling to focus. They're struggling with procrastination. We've done all of the belief work we've done all of the strategic stuff. And they're like, I'm still really struggling. And then you start to have a look at well, is there something physiologically going on

24
00:05:03.900 --> 00:05:12.870
Emma O'Brien: that is affecting your ability to focus? And you'll find that people are eating terribly.

25
00:05:13.850 --> 00:05:29.900
Emma O'Brien: And what you listen. I love sugar as much as you know someone who loves sugar a lot. I love sugar, but I'm also quite aware of how I feel after having the sugar. So it's starting to listen to what's happening.

26
00:05:30.430 --> 00:05:37.640
Emma O'Brien: We're not always feeding our bodies. The best thing. I'm not here to say that nobody must have sugar right? But it's it's being aware of.

27
00:05:38.050 --> 00:05:41.070
Emma O'Brien: If you're feeling jittery and anxious.

28
00:05:41.730 --> 00:05:51.740
Emma O'Brien: it might not be a mind problem. It might be something that's going into your body. I think people forget. If you're drinking 10 cups of coffee in a day, you're going to have the jitters

29
00:05:52.770 --> 00:06:19.380
Emma O'Brien: another great one that was quite interesting to me is I bought myself an adaptogen supplement. I can't remember. I actually should have. I don't know what's in it, but it's got a whole bunch of little adaptogens in it. And I took this, and I kind of was like, I feel really anxious and really out of sorts and really weird. It was a bloody supplement I'd taken.

30
00:06:19.560 --> 00:06:24.379
Emma O'Brien: Oh, wow! So you know, again, it's be. It's that self awareness of.

31
00:06:24.480 --> 00:06:26.639
Emma O'Brien: I feel really off.

32
00:06:26.980 --> 00:06:48.889
Emma O'Brien: What's happening here? Is it a mind thing, or is it a body thing? And it's something I'd put in my body? I've taken another example. I can think of. I've you know it's always nice to be more clever, isn't it? There was some supplement like a brain supplement that I bought a while ago, and I was like, Oh, this looks cool, can help me focus more gave me a cracking headache.

33
00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:50.000
Sam Shrosbree: Yeah.

34
00:06:50.710 --> 00:07:03.779
Emma O'Brien: But it's learning to listen to what's gone in. And what's the kind of effect on my mind that what I'm consuming is having. So it's learning to listen to the pair of them.

35
00:07:04.260 --> 00:07:04.720
Emma O'Brien: which is what we

36
00:07:04.720 --> 00:07:31.449
Emma O'Brien: been talking about. We're a bit on the soapbox, but it's what we've been talking about here. And so Bessel van der Kolk the body keeps the score is a really interesting book to read, because that talks about. It talks a lot about trauma and things, but I think on a perhaps more relatable level is Gabor Mate's when the body says no, because he talks about how often what's happening symptomatically in our bodies is

37
00:07:31.480 --> 00:07:54.249
Emma O'Brien: as a result of a lot of the thought processes that we're having the emotions we're experiencing, how we have not assimilated or processed the experiences we have had, because you kind of have to work through them and let them work out. Our bodies are storing things, and I know it's what you've talked about with a lot of your physio clients that come in with aches and pains

38
00:07:54.740 --> 00:07:59.920
Emma O'Brien: without being like Kutu off the wall about it. It's often stuff that's

39
00:08:00.110 --> 00:08:05.920
Emma O'Brien: we're storing. And we're keeping hold of emotionally that we just haven't been able to to process through.

40
00:08:07.170 --> 00:08:13.830
Sam Shrosbree: Or released from our bodies. Like we spoke about in episode one with the Deborah, shaking things off.

41
00:08:13.830 --> 00:08:14.370
Emma O'Brien: Yeah.

42
00:08:14.370 --> 00:08:15.959
Sam Shrosbree: Wow! And I think

43
00:08:16.590 --> 00:08:24.190
Sam Shrosbree: you know the the easiest way to just check in with your body. Doesn't really matter if it's coming from your

44
00:08:24.260 --> 00:08:49.119
Sam Shrosbree: from a mind thing or your body thing is, you just want to reset it and and regulate it. And I think that the easiest way to to check in and see where you're at is to listen to your breath. I think they often say your breath is the the best link between your or the best bridge between your body and your mind. There's also sayings like

45
00:08:49.120 --> 00:09:13.780
Sam Shrosbree: breathing is the 1st thing you do when you're born, and the last thing you're going to do when you die. So essentially, the quality of your breath between those 2 points determines the actual physiological health of your body. Your breath is fueling every cell in your body, and will tell you the state of your nervous system. If you're stressed. If you're anxious, if you're running, you're going to have short, sharp, shallow breaths, and if you calm and relax, you watch

46
00:09:13.780 --> 00:09:16.320
Sam Shrosbree: a puppy sleeping, they do those

47
00:09:17.420 --> 00:09:30.029
Sam Shrosbree: those little sighs and things like that, so, you know. Can you listen to your breath? And can you regulate your breath? And I think that's a lot of what you do with your your heart folks breathing.

48
00:09:30.660 --> 00:09:50.180
Sam Shrosbree: And yeah, that can be. I mean, maybe if you can link and just say, Oh, it was that incident that made me feel anxious, or it was that supplement I took that made me feel anxious for for future learning. But it's just, I think, constantly being able to just take one second, how am I breathing, and can I breathe better.

49
00:09:50.690 --> 00:10:02.510
Emma O'Brien: Yeah, yeah, I think when we're talking about regulation, you know, there's lots of tools we shared in. Episode one, you know. Go and have a bit of a dance. Go shake it off to shift your mood.

50
00:10:02.850 --> 00:10:11.460
Emma O'Brien: And you know we've talked about heart focus breathing. We talked about Yoga Nidras in the last episode. But I think the one thing that we all forget is, we have this

51
00:10:12.190 --> 00:10:23.070
Emma O'Brien: set of lungs, which are the easiest tool you can use to bring yourself back into the moment and to calm yourself

52
00:10:23.470 --> 00:10:24.310
Emma O'Brien: down.

53
00:10:24.570 --> 00:10:44.809
Emma O'Brien: I believe I'm correct in. If you have a longer, ex longer exhale than inhale, you're very much signaling to your body to really calm itself down and ground it. And and for it to be safe. There's all sorts of techniques, box breathing where you do 4 in. Hold for 4

54
00:10:44.810 --> 00:11:06.170
Emma O'Brien: out for 4. Hold for 4, and it's just what it does is it? Does recenter your nervous system and recenter your body, but it also shifts your mind away from whatever you're looping about. If you're feeling anxious or stressed, it just takes you out of that, and it breaks the state for a moment, which is often. All you need to do is just to consciously go.

55
00:11:06.542 --> 00:11:22.790
Emma O'Brien: I'm in an anxiety loop. Let me do something to shift it. Otherwise you'll sit stuck there. But I think it's having that conscious awareness of what is happening in my mind. What is happening in my body, and how can I just regain a little bit of control in the moment.

56
00:11:23.240 --> 00:11:33.080
Sam Shrosbree: 100%. Yeah, I'm even just thinking as you're talking about the the longer exhales. I think

57
00:11:33.280 --> 00:12:02.199
Sam Shrosbree: one of the ways we can see that our mind and body are 100% linked is that we have a physical action of crying when you are feeling a certain emotion, and it's also quite interesting. Our breathing is different when we cry, depending, if it's a happy cry or a sad cry or distressed cry, the breathing would be totally different in that crying. So our bodies are naturally doing these kinds of things, and if we can bring conscious awareness

58
00:12:02.200 --> 00:12:04.180
Sam Shrosbree: to that, we, we

59
00:12:04.190 --> 00:12:23.610
Sam Shrosbree: have quite a lot of power and control over the the way we experience the world and the way our bodies move through the world. And I feel like that's that's quite wonderful to think, rather than just be taken for a ride in this whirlwind of life is actually we can be. We can be steering the ship through it.

60
00:12:24.020 --> 00:12:43.890
Emma O'Brien: Yeah, 100%. And I think it's, you know, we talked, we talked in the last episode about using emotions and feelings, whether they're somatic, or, you know, psychological feelings as messengers and working with them rather than trying to shut them down. And I think often when you have the tools.

61
00:12:44.430 --> 00:12:59.289
Emma O'Brien: and you know you have the tools to be able to bring yourself back into balance when something happens to throw you off. Course, I think that's the thing with regulation is just because you know how to regulate yourself doesn't mean you're not going to experience things. It just means

62
00:12:59.390 --> 00:13:05.569
Emma O'Brien: you are able to recover faster and be more resilient when something it's life

63
00:13:05.770 --> 00:13:32.910
Emma O'Brien: shit happens. But if you know you've got the tools to be able to cope with it, I think we fear the big feelings less, and then we avoid them less. And then you kind of are in a state where you will feel better physically and mentally, because you're not at the mercy of everything that's happening to you you talked about. I think often it can feel like you're on an out of control roller coaster going through life.

64
00:13:33.020 --> 00:13:37.610
Sam Shrosbree: But we, we have the tools at our disposal to be able to regain control

65
00:13:38.370 --> 00:13:46.670
Emma O'Brien: And I think when you get that for me, that self mastery is being able to really tune into what's happening physically.

66
00:13:46.810 --> 00:13:52.540
Emma O'Brien: be able to tune into what's happening mentally and make a choice in the moment as to how am I going to proceed?

67
00:13:52.900 --> 00:14:03.489
Emma O'Brien: Can I? How can I bring myself back into balance. So I can proceed in a way that actually is more useful and productive and

68
00:14:03.850 --> 00:14:20.620
Emma O'Brien: doesn't make life worse in the long run, because I think that's what happens when we're very dysregulated. We make stupid reactive in the moment decisions that have horrible long term consequences. And if you can stop yourself from doing that, life actually suddenly starts to become easier because you're actually

69
00:14:20.900 --> 00:14:23.370
Emma O'Brien: better in charge of it. I think.

70
00:14:24.190 --> 00:14:49.590
Sam Shrosbree: Absolutely. Yeah, we've used the analogy before in our corporate wellness things about when you, when you can feel, and you can get into that state of calm life is constantly going to be throwing balls at you. But you just you can better analyze which balls you're going to catch, which ones you're going to let drop, and you can get in the rhythm of juggling the ones you've decided to juggle.

71
00:14:49.790 --> 00:15:08.769
Emma O'Brien: Yeah. Yeah. So we are very excited. Doors have now opened to our recalibration 6 week program. If you would like to find out more about that. You can head to the show notes and go and have a look at the link there, it'll find. Give you all the information about what we're doing. Essentially, we've created a 6 week

72
00:15:08.890 --> 00:15:27.440
Emma O'Brien: group coaching program that is going to take you on a journey of understanding yourself. Better learning to listen to both your mind and your body. It's going to give you tools to be able to get into that state of self mastery. So life ceases to become something you have to cope through

73
00:15:27.440 --> 00:15:41.130
Emma O'Brien: and survive. We're going to be giving you the tools to really thrive, to be able to make conscious decisions, to take better care of your of your body, to take better care of your mind, to show up better.

74
00:15:41.500 --> 00:15:47.039
Emma O'Brien: and to be able to to manage the day to day. Better so your life

75
00:15:47.330 --> 00:15:57.910
Emma O'Brien: improves, Sam. Just talk us through a little bit from your perspective. What you're aiming for people to get out of the recalibration.

76
00:15:59.230 --> 00:16:00.370
Sam Shrosbree: I think.

77
00:16:01.400 --> 00:16:23.609
Sam Shrosbree: I think it's being able to just step back and get a little bit of perspective. I think we, if we we keep using that analogy of the the roller coaster and things like that is, can you actually step off the roller coaster and just kind of review? What what does Sam want? What does Emma want, or whoever you are out there? What.

78
00:16:23.610 --> 00:16:47.609
Sam Shrosbree: what are your true values? And how do you want to live your life in alignment with what is important to you, that you, you are living your most purposeful, meaningful life within the constraints and things that you have, and where you somewhat feel that you've got more control, and being behind the steering wheel of your life.

79
00:16:47.790 --> 00:17:11.440
Sam Shrosbree: and being able to build your toolkit of things, to be able to navigate through life. It's like getting an advanced driver's license, so, no matter what the conditions are on the road, you can steer and navigate around them where you feel like you are in control of that driver's seat, and it's going to make that drive

80
00:17:11.440 --> 00:17:21.249
Sam Shrosbree: far more enjoyable than if you're just being flung around by what life throws at you, which I really don't believe we need to live life that way.

81
00:17:21.700 --> 00:17:30.760
Emma O'Brien: No. So we're going to be teaching you to get your Hgv license and take the scenic route and drive it expertly.

82
00:17:31.840 --> 00:17:43.850
Emma O'Brien: so you can check out the recalibration via the show notes. There is a link there to go and have a look. You can also send either of us a DM. On Instagram. The handles are in the show notes as well

83
00:17:43.940 --> 00:18:08.819
Emma O'Brien: to find out more about it. If you've got any questions hit us up, we're really excited to be leading you through what is going to be a really transformational journey. This is work. We're both really, really powerful. We're really well. Okay, let me just rephrase that this is work we're really powerful at. But we feel really passionately about the power of this work, so we hope you can join us on the journey.

84
00:18:08.950 --> 00:18:13.619
Emma O'Brien: and we will see you for the next episode. Thanks for joining me, Sam.

85
00:18:13.970 --> 00:18:15.267
Sam Shrosbree: Thank you, Emma.

86
00:18:15.700 --> 00:18:20.580
Emma O'Brien: Thanks for being with us folks who are listening. We will see you next time bye, for now.